Im back!

Ok so i had a hiatus from blogging... not that anyone cared. Well one person did. But not the rest of you.

Anyway... the reason for this was i had a solo show on so i was working my day job at the Jawa and Midwich factory and the night job of exhibition creation. Which was bloody hard work. Anyway its all done now. You can see some pictures here at my Flickr and some others at Subtext Gallery.

The opening night went pretty well and i sold enough stuff to clear the expenses i shot through making all the stuff. I'll be updating the Flickr as i go along. Aside from that things have been pretty tame due to lack of funds but now i've got some freetime again i will be blogging regularly. I miss London quite a bit. Not the rain and bad attitude. Just the beers and the good friends.

So it is.

Sweeeeet rides. Dude.

This is a collection of all the great cars i have seen around my local area.

I particularly like the orange Camero.

I see so many amazing American cars every day. I could spend a lot of money. Lots and lots.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No its a Grapple!

Did you ever wonder what would happen if you combined the great portion and crunchiness of an apple with the sour tangyness of a grape?

Well wonder not. For $5 you can get 4 Grapples at Gelsons Supermarkets.

Aparantly its a Fuji apple soaked in grape flavourings. They taste blooming amazing. Even if they are freaks of nature. Im surprised people havent taken this further... apples soaked in gin for example. Or pork fat.

So aside from Grapples i have been looking after my sick dog. He's getting better now though. His latest trick is to sit on the passengers lap in the car. Even though he's 55 pounds. And has no balance. He likes that and throwing up on my stuff. And being sick in the car.

I have also confirmed my solo show in San Diego. It's on the 18th of April and its called 'Flatlander' after the book 'Flatland' by Edwin A. Abbott. I have a lot of work to do for it.

Finally.. on my birthday Robin took me to the Pacific Dining Car. It's a 24 hour posh steak restaurant that opened in 1921. It's pretty pricey but you get a crazy mix of people in there from well healed politicians, authors (such as James Ellroy), cops, and tramps like us. They ID'd me when i asked for a beer, read my passport, and without any prompting whatsoever brought out a slab of cheesecake at the end of the meal with a candle in it. There was no singing or brouhaha which made me even more happy. Classy place. Best steak i've ever had.

Planet of the Birds

Another comic from Ryan J Cook.
Click to enlarge.

It's my birthday and.. and... my dog is sick

Here is a picture of a sick dog. He's been sick. All over the front room. He's got doggy influenza. His shit stinks.

It's also my birthday. Im going to the Pacific Dining Car for dinner. It's where James Ellroy eats. You can read about it in his great crime books.
Im 29.

I also got my first solo show. It's not a for reals gallery but a gallery slash bookstore thing. It's in San Diego at the end of April. Unless they cancel it. I don't know what to call it yet.

I also did the cover of Flavorpill this week. And i started my first cut-out. Thats about it.
I have a million photos on my phone of sweet rides. But i cant get them off my bluetooth is broke.

I got a dog. Called Marlowe. Not Simon.

Yeah so Robin got me a dog for my birthday. Don't get the wrong impression though. I chose him. If she had have chosen he would be borderline psychopathic with a tendency for self harm. But i chose him so he's very well adjusted and clever. Apart from he doesn't know what stairs are, wont get in the lift, has never had a bone before, and think's someone's living in the cupboard.

Cool!

Flat Warming Party

Another gem from the desk of R. Cook.

Click for larger view

Graham. Detective.

Ryan Cook has kindly offered to supply my blog with regular comic strips.

Click image for larger view.

Moving continent takes money

The trick to moving continent isn't preparation. It's the complete enforcement of your will through money. I've been spending bucketloads of money everyday. New apartment, sofa, bed, mattress, coffee table, side table, tv stand, flat screen tv, new groceries, knives, knife rack, kettle, iron, duvet, sheets, pillows, shelves, drill, handsaw, screwdriver... basically... everything.

However... it has paid off. I have a super cool 1920's apartment in Echo Park with a large bedroom, a large living room, and about five storage cupboards. Two of which are walk in size.

So Robin's happy with that.

Apart from that we've been up to Pasadena (Town Hall shown in image) which is kind of posh and quiet. We also accidentally ended up on Hollywood Boulevard the other night and saw all the touristy crapola like the stars in the pavement and that. We'll make a trek down there sooner or later.


I want to get drunk and go to Universal City which has loads of crap movie rides. I've seen the Hollywood sign from a distance and we drove past Mullholland Drive but we haven't had much time to stop and take note of anything yet.

And that is that. My parting advice: Ikea in America is just as shit. Only have the price.

Trash of the future...

So.

Driving around using my mobile phones fancy pants GPS thingy we came across this amazing superb futuristic trash collector truck that has a massive gripper thing that grabs wheelie bins and empties them into itself in the air. And then flings them into the street on their sides.

This is the future of bin collections.

They could also put it to use collecting and decapitating ASBO kids in London.

Think about it.

We're moving out of Super 8 tomorrow and into our apartment. True.

Immigration in America

So.



I left on the 30th and we arrived in Houston for the change of flight after some crazy length of time. The plane was full of Alpha course freaks who wanted to talk to everyone. Robin only slept for three or four hours which is quite remarkable. I got really, really, really bored.

When we got to Houston the immigration service separated me from Robin and i had to sit in a room with a load of other people. The guy who sat next to me, a gun manufacturer from Abu Dhabi, said to me 'I know why we're all here... but why are you?' I was in a minority as they were stopping anyone Arabic or Mexican. We got along great... he was on his way to Vegas, we'd both missed our connecting flights and it seemed like the immigration people wanted us to be there till everyone else was processed.

Two hours later i got called up and the guy took my fingerprints... filled out a form... and that was it. We got a later connection to San Antonio and met up with Robin's dad and sister. From there we drove back to his house in Elemendorf. It was hot enough to wear a tee-shirt at night. Good ol' Texas. I think i ate something then slept for 14 hours.

We spent a week there in his trailer. That sounds bad but actually its a lot bigger and well thought out than most English houses. It had three bedrooms, a large from room with an open kitchen, and two bathrooms. It was about four times the size of my flat in Camden. I got drunk on Lone Star beer every night, played with the dogs and was re-united with my cat. On one of the last nights me and Lori (Robin's sister) got drunk and shot beer cans with a high-powered pellet rifle (with scope). I also won four bucks on the Giants on this years Superbowl. True! So i learnt im a great shot and a great gambler too.

On Sunday we went to Austin so i could get my next tattoo. I also designed a tattoo for Lori to get. Our tattoo guy's prices have gone up but he's still worth it. Every penny.

So anyway. We left on wednesday to travel 1375 miles in the Explorer full of boxes and cases. This was a two day journey of about 10 hours driving each day. We travelled on the I-10 from San Antonio, through El Paso, Tucson, Pheonix, to LA. During that time Roxy took a shit on my favorite Silas jumper, we ate at Texas Roadhouse and Cracker Barrel, and we stopped to visit 'The Thing?' in Arizona. In total we travelled four states - Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California. At the end of the second day we hit outer LA where everyone drives like a maniac especially at night. Desert scenery and long-distance driving dont mix very well expecially on an Interstate like the I-10. If it was back roads it would have been more interesting but probably would have taken 4 days instead.

Since then we've been holed up in a Super 8 Motel looking at apartments and working. Robin got her job with Mac in Beverly Hills and i've researched a few galleries and things. We've found an apartment we like in Echo Park but we're waiting for our credit checks to come back. It's a 1920's apartment with shuttered windows and exposed brick walls. Im looking forward to living in a place where i can walk to the store and the park instead of driving. Im already sick of driving.

And that is that. There was a lot of stuff to put into the blog so its a bit non-funny but now we've covered that my next posts should be either funny or vitriolic. Either is good.

Recently i've been watching Robot Chicken on Adult Swim. Well worth checking out.

You can see photos and more stuff from our road trip and American exploits at my Flickr